I came across this video and wanted to share it. My husband and I are currently doing well. I had a bit of a melt down this past weekend but I am realizing more and more how important it is to stay within the boundaries I set for myself. My husband has a coworker, who is funny and fun to be around, but she’s also very vulgar and much of her joking around has a very sexual bend to it. Prior to the affair, I don’t think I would find her so crass -but now I see her openness to talk and joke about so many sexual things as threatening. We hung out with her and some other people this weekend- there was alcohol involved. I nodded off for a bit and when I woke up I felt out of sorts and her and my husband, who had both been wearing hats, had exchanged hats and it set me off. I read all sorts of things into it and of course I worked myself up about it. When we were back home I went off on my husband. I dinged his car and threw away his hat after stomping all over it.
Its always difficult to come back from times like that. It involves a great deal of humbleness on both our parts, which is what we both did. Apologies, reassurance, compassion, understanding – it’ all necessary to move forward.
I love my husband. I know there is so much good in him. I know he’s incredible and wonderful and I know he loves me and I love him. There will be triggers, awful images, insecurities, fears but every day I know my husband, our marriage, and our family are worth the fight. I’m grateful to God for the strength I get from Him every day because I don’ t have it in myself to do it on my own. On my own I’m the angry woman stomping my husband’s hat because another woman wore it in jest.
Videos like this one remind me why it’s so important to fight and what the real battles are. I hope you who also have spouses struggling with sex addiction benefit from it too.