I’m in Vegas for a very quick trip. My mom and I flew out early this morning to see my brother receive an award in his field. I knew this trip would be difficult- the last time I was in Vegas,  my husband had already started the affair. He had already kissed the other woman. He had called her from the airport before we boarded our plane breaking it off with her, but he’d go back to her – like a dog to its vomit.  I wouldn’t know any of this until months later.  All of that lay heavily on my mind as my mom and I drove to our hotel from the airport 

I thought about a family picture we took at the aquarium at Mandalay Bay- for a long time after Dday I would look at that picture, and think about how broken my family was then and I had no clue. My children are so young. And my husband, I would look at that picture and think- he was living a lie. He had started a double life and I couldn’t tell. I didn’t know. I still wish there was some way I could have know- even though I know there was no way. I trusted him and he manipulated that trust with lies and deceit. He broke my heart.  

So I struggled. I felt the sadness. I mourned. But this trip isn’t about my husband. I’m here for my mom and my brother. We had a great dinner together and then my mom and I went to see KA. It was amazing. 

This is the first Cirque du Soleil show I’ve ever seen but in terms of set design, special affects, and overall production- it blows any other show I’ve seen out of the water completely. I loved it and I loved that I could share something so spectacular with my mom.  

There was one part of the show that really moved me and as I sat there watching it, I thought about how when everything was falling apart that I could never have imagined that I would be in Vegas again and that I would have a moment like this. For so long it was this place that I associated with the beginning of my family unraveling, with the ugliness and duplicity of my husband – and it WAS those things,  but because I refuse to let it have any power over me still I was able to create new memories and I’m grateful for that. I’m going to bed now in Vegas and my heart is happy- I couldn’t have imagined that just a few hours earlier!

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